0820- There certainly is a long line! I was in the wrong one. But I got some great tickets for tonight's Winger concert. I guess I know what the tents are for now.
0830 - After talking with a Hillary delegate who looks remarkably like John Lithgow from The World According to Garp, I listened to a group of wildly enthusiastic, but painfully white, ladies beating on pickle-drums and chanting. Their perfectly quaffed mullets bounced with each beat of what looked like a paint stick.
I was just waiting for one of them to start bellowing, "This penis party has to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho!"
I'm starting to rethink my sexual preference.
But Rubi Nicholas is here. You would think that with not just one, but two Denver stand-up comics in the audience, they would have a better sense of humor with the hecklers.
1000 - After someone unsuccessfully tried to mix together Joe Walsh and John Denver, they start playing "Right Now" by Van Halen. A Hagar, but fun nonetheless. The projectors show little sayings like, "Right now, Katrina victims are still suffering under Bush."
"Right now, Bush has cut 7 million from Colorado schools under 'No Child Left Behind'... Right now, children are being left behind." "Right now, Marilyn Musgrave is looking for a moving van."
It has all the energy of a REAL Van Halen concert. For a bunch of stoned out hippies, these cats have some serious energy.
1007 - Some guy, that I think is mayor of CoSpgs, makes an intro, but for some reason, can't remember the name of the big mountain here in town. It sure ain't Mt McKinley. (For the record, it is Pikes Peak. Named after that great explorer, Sir Richard Peak.)
1014 - A clip on voting importance is played. Strangely from Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. At this rate, I'm going to have to turn someone in to the RIAA and the MPAA for copyright infringement.
I'm debating whether it would be inappropriate to offer to buy a hotdog for one of the crunchy chicks from Boulder...
1019 - The committee chairman takes the stage. Good man. Better hair. It is like a silver steel helmet. Does he spray it on? I'm going to have my dad call him to see if he can steal his secret.
He thinks it is great that we are turning this red state blue. Maybe we can get a Rx for some Prozac.
On a serious note, he speaks very movingly about the difference between the politics of hope vs. the politics of cynicism. Too much fear has used recently. Wait, was that a barb against Hillary?
While it is a good point that Democratic leadership has brought about in Colorado benefits for children through more insurance, more/better schools, and higher nutrition, why is it that it has to be all about the kids? I don't have any kids (that have been genetically matched, at least), so why should I care? My sister is rich and can do just fine with my nephews and niece. Why should the taxes that my dad pays go for that? He's already paying for my school, insurance and food. Think of Ronald!
1028 - Great quote: "We are living on borrowed time in borrowed times." Ritter.
1030 Ken Salazar comes out wearing his usual cowboy hat. It looks like something a Nebraska cheerleader wears to let everyone know her boyfriend stayed the night and left it there. But it works for him. Even if, combined with his denim jacket and bolo tie, he would look like a bleached out rehab chick from Zoo Bar on Colfax, you know, if he weren't so respectable and... um, male.
1110 - Former Mayor Webb speaks after Irene from the credentials committee. Irene declares that we have a quorum. Webb thinks Udall will do a good job. I have to look up how to spell "quorum". It sounds like something a high school douchebag would say in the locker room about his date last weekend. "Dude, I totally quorumed her and she couldn't walk for a week." Rubi wants to know if I ever quorum-holed a guy while I was in the military.
Former Mayor Webb (formerly Mayor, he's still Webb) speaks from the upper level of the arena with the spotlight on him. I still love listening to him speak, but he reminds me of that part of a Guns 'n' Roses concert when they put the spotlight on the audience and Izzy is standing up there wailin' away.
1130 - A few people are speaking about their support for Udall and talking about their individual projects and issues. Some think unions are a good idea. An Iraqi vet thinks leaving the Middle East is a fantastic idea. Wilford Brimley (or his twin) talks about water rights. America's Funniest Mom and I are eating popcorn and Twizzlers. She thinks the combo tastes like Frankenberries. I think if the delegates from San Juan ever formed a street gang (they're a tough group of octogenarians!), they should be called the "Sharks". They can fight the Montezuma "Revenge" gang of delegates.
These speakers might represent a potential problem for us Democrats in November.
WORKERS' RIGHTS (edit: Rubi pointed out that the apostrophe goes AFTER the 's' in that last one... otherwise, we are only protecting one worker)
END THE WAR
PROTECT THE ENVIRONMENT
BRING HOME THE SOLDIERS
UNION RIGHTS
KEEP OUR WATER CLEAN
We get it already! Can't we find some more issues? At least the Neocons can give speeches where they get creative. Bush got reelected because of some speech where he warned us about the illegal gay terrorist stem-cell researchers that are going to kill your children and take your rebate check. Let's get creative.
1140 - Tess Udall introduces a moving video about her father. Great editing and moving pictures. I didn't know Mark Udall worked an Outward Bound ropes course! And I didn't know his daughter was such a biscuit! RAWR!
"The winds of change are blowing right here in Colorado," says Udall on the video, standing in front of a wind farm. Moving sight.
But seriously, Tess, call me!
1145 until December 31, 2012! - The longest introduction EVAR! This song ("Oh yes we can, change the world...") played over and over as Udall shook hands from the back of the arena to the stage. I've seen bypass surgery that went quicker. It was the Inagoddadavita of politics.
Mark talks about his mom for awhile. She sounds like a strong woman. Any of you women want to know how to impress people, do like Udall's mom. Teach yourself to fly a plane, join the Peace Corp, and carry a shotgun.
Or just carry a shotgun.
"We can't afford another year of energy policy written by the oil companies." "People are being left behind."
Personally, I'm thinking of an hour ago and my comments. Maybe we shouldn't stress "no child left behind". Screw that! How about no American left behind. I hate to be all bigoted and "age-ist", but they shouldn't get preferential treatment. Separate is not equal.
Says Rubi, "They should have one of those Chipotle blimps flying around in here. They could drop the ballots that way."
Me, "Or maybe just make you a delegate if you are the one that gets a card."
Rubi, "And a free burrito."
Me, "Would you have to buy a medium drink first?"
Rubi, "No."
Me, "That's why I love America."
1315 - We are a bit of a lull in the show. noticed a woman walking around with a Hillary sign and buttons stuck (pardon the pun) liberally all over her sweater. The strange part is that the sweater is yellow and she has black stripes around her abdomen and arms. Also, she has antennae on her head. A proper white woman, not bad looking and not more than 35. She is trying to look like the queen bee, but she is actually a WASP.
Really, the speakers are starting to grind on me, but I finally found the troublemakers. The last guy told a joke about how getting Democrats together is like "herding cats." And then referred to us as "demo-cats." THIS MAN IS OBVIOUSLY A TERRORIST.
I've never seen anyone bomb like that. (And I know from experience!)
The man before that was wearing a beret and talking about opposing special interest groups. The problem is that I could see where Monica Lewinski autographed the back. Either he was a jazz tenor sax player, or he was trying to remind us of something.
Obviously, a Obama supporter.
(I would like to welcome Richard Bateman and the rest of squarestate.net to this little experiment. Good to meet you guys. And check out the Drinking Liberally event "Save the Ales." I'm pro-lager, but they will find a space for me.
1315 FINALLY! Someone brought up the word "hate"!
The congressional candidate going against Marilyn Musgrave is speaking very, very well talking about policies that breed FUD (fear, uncertainty, and doubt). Too many politicos try to get us to hate, because we learned from the 2004 election that hating gays is an American Value that gets people to vote. It is wrong to hate someone for their minority status. When you can just spend five minutes getting to know them and find a good reason to hate them.
1345 - I really wanted to see Hank Eng speak. I have found him soft spoken, yet very powerful when in front of a crowd in the past. I missed him because I have somehow conned my way up into the luxury booths upstairs to meet Mark Udall. Yeah, the picture will lend street cred with my homies, but I'm still on a mission for Tess. And I needed some bread to go with my circus.
1355 Still no Tess.
1415 - Got a picture with Udall. Totally a nice guy. I think Rubi scared him a little, but she is going to try to get him to a show. I asked a volunteer about getting a picture with Tess, but it turns out, by popular vote, I'm a pussy. I skulked off when he said, "okay," like I had just farted in a room full of ENT and GI docs. Udall's sound byte for the comic constituents out there, "Without humor, we're sad, we're depressed, we are everything that is not human."
Just overheard on the smoking balcony, "I swear, if the Democrats don't pull it off this year, I'm turning Libertarian."
1440 - After watching a woman speak who is running for the Colorado chair for the DNC, I just realized how liberal we all are. My background is in medicine and I remembered that DNC is an acronym for "dilation and curetage". Or "abortion," if you wanna be a dick. (Rubi is pointing out that after a spontaneous abortion, most women also get a DNC... I mean, I'm all for scraping the cervix. It is just that I usually associate it with making the fetus.). What is it called when you can't get a DNC and have to carry the baby, so your boyfriend has to kick you down a flight of stairs? A GOP.
1450 - A Boulder redhead, Jonathan Singer, that is running for a committee position just told a story about teaching civics. "Politics is a Latin word. From 'poly' meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning blood-sucking parasites." He's a surprisingly powerful speaker. I wouldn't have expected it. Obviously, he spent too much time in the basement of the Gamow tower (physics), though. We was wearing a t-shirt and hoodie. That alone gets my vote.
1459 - Federico Pena (I know, it is supposed to have the squiggly on the 'n', but I can't find that key) just spoke. He is the co-chair of the Obama campaign. The namesake of the Pepsi Arena (I sitll call it the "Hall o' Pena") is reminding us that no matter what happens after August, we are all still Democrats and must band together. We are starting to hear the rumblings of campaigns trying to make sure that if there is a split in the votes, Denver, and the Democratic Party consequently, burns to the ground.
Oh, and Rubi and I may be leaving. She votes for Clinton and I vote for Obama. We cancel each other out, so we might as well leave. Grantie boy, the bars, the bars are cah-hah-hah-ling.
1519 - We were just informed that Hillary supporters will have a list of delegates to vote for. They will vote for seven on the list. Us Obama supporters will be given a list of seven. We will vote for seven on the list. Not that I thought I was going to win, but that kinda sucks. What happened to the Democracy? Rubi thinks I'm getting screwed by the Barack-cracy.
1525 - A final word before I vote and get my ass out of Fundamentalist Cult-Land, for everyone in the DNC, you never say, "I would like to make a motion." Trust me, this is a devout scholar of Parliamentary procedure and Robert's Rule of Order telling you, it makes you sound like a tool. "I would like to move...", state your motion, and go about your day. (Yeah, I didn't get laid much in high school.)
1600 - The ballot process isn't going as smoothly as planned. I was under the assumption that we would be able to just go in, do our job, declare mission accomplished, and kick back in Crawford with a mojito and a joint. This is quickly turning into a quagmire. We are bogged down due to poor planning. Hopefully, I will be able to leave the area in a hundred years.
1700 - My final captain's log. Rubi, I hate you so very, very much. You are probably back in your jammies at home. I'm still in line for the ballot. Why does Hillary have to have so few supporters here? Why do I have to type while still in line? And why does this girl find iut normal that I can type eerily well with only one hand?
But about this looong ass line, is it because Hillary only makes 75 delegates for every hundred a man earns? I'm going home soon. I will have a beer, listen to Sloop John B., and never participate like this again. I'm going to move to Wyoming, where there are 3 delegates at the convention; not 6000. Or tp Florida, where the ballots don't count and they would get the numbers wrong, even if they did.
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